2/12/2003

This morning I had such a vivid daydream during my cabride to the office...

And it was so simple. I imagined a new friend for myself. A girlfriend with whom to go out and have fun with without any guys around, a friend with whom I could go shopping with. A friend who cared, truly cared, about me. Someone to whom I could talk with my defenses down, knowing she'd never use that information to attack me later on, and who'd never belittle my problems by comparing them with hers. Someone with whom I'd have fun. Someone who'd never blackmail me.

A friend.

Just someone other than Belendor. I love him, he is my best friend, but there are always things you can't tell your guy about.

Sometimes I feel so lonely... My world is too small. But at the same time, it is cozy, comfortable, safe, full of love. But it is also fragile.

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