Morpheus sings
I usually have recurring motifs in my dreams. Or the same locations. Not series; I know there are people who have them but I don't. At least not now.
One is fish. Or fishbowls. Either I see fish swimming in the air as if it's water, or I dream about enormous, high-ceilinged rooms lined up with aquariums. Sometimes the fish are normal, but usually they're monster-fish. You know, fish with human faces, strange swimming worms. They are upsetting. Most frequently, however, the aquariums are either full of dead, dying or mutilated fish (or sometimes turtles) or they are packed up with mutant fish. These dreams are very disturbing. And very frequent. It's rare that I don't have one of those once a week.
Another is Europe. I'd dream either I'm in Europe, or going to, but I never get to see anything. Like, for example, I know I'm in Europe but I can't get out of the room nor look out the window. Or I'm at the airport on my way to Europe and 1) I lose my ticket; or 2) I take the wrong plane and finish up in Argentina. Or, I'm in Europe but the police is after me. Or, I'm in Europe with my brother and he kills someone so we have to start escaping. These dreams are also very disturbing.
Another is, water. This is my more benign motif. I dream of enormous extensions of water, or rivers, or waterfalls. Or, the sea. Lately it has always been the sea. These dreams are generally good, because the water is always clear and nice. Except for one dream I had not long ago and I already blogged, about me coming to the sea and finding it full of dead bodies. That one was nasty, but generally my dreams with water are nice.
The only one that vaguely resembles a series is the one where I fly. I know everybody dreams about flying, but my dreams about flying are very specific. I've asked around and I've noticed people dream they're flying as they walk. I mean, instead of walking, they fly. In my dreams, however, I have wings. Great big black-feathered, beautiful wings. These dreams about flying are not as frequent as the rest, but unlike them, they keep their eerie realistic quality even when I'm awake, so they don't fade away as most dreams usually do. When I'm flying, I feel the stretching of the inexistant muscles in my back when I spread and beat my wings. I feel the air currents and have to adjust navigation accordingly. I mean, that's very realistic, isn't it?
I had the first one of those about four years ago. I was still living with my parents, at any rate. In my dream, a very tall man came to me and told me I had to fly. And I told him I couldn't since I had no means of doing so. And he told me I did, couldn't I see? And then I felt it indeed, and turned around and, although I couldn't see them properly, I could feel the great pair of wings attached to my back. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. The man told me Corvux also was a winged being, but his wings were white, and that our duty was to bring the others together.
And through these years, I have. I dream I'm flying, looking for someone, and when I find him/her I have to tell them they must fly. And they invariably tell me they can't, and I tell them they can, because they have wings, can't they see? And they look around them and see and feel their newly discovered wings. Sometimes the wings are black, but usually they're white. And they fly away.
Of all my recurring dreams, these are my favorite. I call them my Messenger Angel dreams. However, I don't have them very often.
*sigh*
I know it's stupid.
-----------------------
OK, and back to the real world (*sigh*), I'm really upset about what happened yesterday. Whatever happens, I'll have to sort it out by myself; as I've mentioned before, I do think I need therapy but unfortunately, I have yet to meet a psychologist whom I don't despise. As for medication, I'm already on industrial amounts of Xanax, so there's nothing much I can do.
*sigh*
I usually have recurring motifs in my dreams. Or the same locations. Not series; I know there are people who have them but I don't. At least not now.
One is fish. Or fishbowls. Either I see fish swimming in the air as if it's water, or I dream about enormous, high-ceilinged rooms lined up with aquariums. Sometimes the fish are normal, but usually they're monster-fish. You know, fish with human faces, strange swimming worms. They are upsetting. Most frequently, however, the aquariums are either full of dead, dying or mutilated fish (or sometimes turtles) or they are packed up with mutant fish. These dreams are very disturbing. And very frequent. It's rare that I don't have one of those once a week.
Another is Europe. I'd dream either I'm in Europe, or going to, but I never get to see anything. Like, for example, I know I'm in Europe but I can't get out of the room nor look out the window. Or I'm at the airport on my way to Europe and 1) I lose my ticket; or 2) I take the wrong plane and finish up in Argentina. Or, I'm in Europe but the police is after me. Or, I'm in Europe with my brother and he kills someone so we have to start escaping. These dreams are also very disturbing.
Another is, water. This is my more benign motif. I dream of enormous extensions of water, or rivers, or waterfalls. Or, the sea. Lately it has always been the sea. These dreams are generally good, because the water is always clear and nice. Except for one dream I had not long ago and I already blogged, about me coming to the sea and finding it full of dead bodies. That one was nasty, but generally my dreams with water are nice.
The only one that vaguely resembles a series is the one where I fly. I know everybody dreams about flying, but my dreams about flying are very specific. I've asked around and I've noticed people dream they're flying as they walk. I mean, instead of walking, they fly. In my dreams, however, I have wings. Great big black-feathered, beautiful wings. These dreams about flying are not as frequent as the rest, but unlike them, they keep their eerie realistic quality even when I'm awake, so they don't fade away as most dreams usually do. When I'm flying, I feel the stretching of the inexistant muscles in my back when I spread and beat my wings. I feel the air currents and have to adjust navigation accordingly. I mean, that's very realistic, isn't it?
I had the first one of those about four years ago. I was still living with my parents, at any rate. In my dream, a very tall man came to me and told me I had to fly. And I told him I couldn't since I had no means of doing so. And he told me I did, couldn't I see? And then I felt it indeed, and turned around and, although I couldn't see them properly, I could feel the great pair of wings attached to my back. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. The man told me Corvux also was a winged being, but his wings were white, and that our duty was to bring the others together.
And through these years, I have. I dream I'm flying, looking for someone, and when I find him/her I have to tell them they must fly. And they invariably tell me they can't, and I tell them they can, because they have wings, can't they see? And they look around them and see and feel their newly discovered wings. Sometimes the wings are black, but usually they're white. And they fly away.
Of all my recurring dreams, these are my favorite. I call them my Messenger Angel dreams. However, I don't have them very often.
*sigh*
I know it's stupid.
-----------------------
OK, and back to the real world (*sigh*), I'm really upset about what happened yesterday. Whatever happens, I'll have to sort it out by myself; as I've mentioned before, I do think I need therapy but unfortunately, I have yet to meet a psychologist whom I don't despise. As for medication, I'm already on industrial amounts of Xanax, so there's nothing much I can do.
*sigh*
posted by gaby san at
4/08/2003 01:24:00 PM
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