When I first watched "Secretary" with Belendor, I could tell he was getting more and more... annoyed, let's say. I was enjoying the film immensely. When it finished, he said, "Weird movie... but cool, huh?" in a kind of tentative way I think, like testing my reaction. I just said yes and nothing more.

Today, I watched it again with my brother. There is a moment in it that profoundly moves me, and I started leaking a little from the eyes. The surprise (well, it was not much of a surprise really but it was nice) was that he suddenly paused the movie, turned to look at me, and I saw there were also tears in his eyes. We started crying and laughing at the same time, calling each other stupid.

Were those good times, little brother?

They weren't. Grandma dying, father in the hospital, family falling apart. Just you and me, and no one else. At least we had each other.

But... times, all the same. Times that are still present.

* * * * * *

By the way, the other day I dreamt Father had died. Hugo came to us and said that we weren't allowed to the funeral, that it wouldn't be *proper*, but that we could (in fact, we were encouraged to send flowers if we wanted to.