I'm pissed.

I know it's childish and useless and stupid, but I'm not perfect and I can't help being pissed about this.

I keep thinking of Tony.

Tony is five years older than me, and he didn't know what a kangaroo was until I explained him. When I did, he honestly thought I was pulling his leg. He thought 'electric' and 'electronic' were synonims. Ditto with 'climatic' and 'climatologic'.

He thought tigers lived in Africa, he said peoples instead of people, he thought that CPO was a disease.

Every time he landed a translation, he hired me to do it and then presented it as his own, until I quit doing that.

Anyway, about a year ago he landed a translator position for 2,500 USD a month and he was kind enough to leave me this shitty job I hold now.

With that money, he bought a new car and he's gone to Barcelona twice this year. Both times, he sent upon returning a 15 page summary of his adventures during his journey, which mainly consisted of which clothes he'd bought there and how terribly uncouth the Spanish people were.

His only comment on the cultural note: "I went to Dali's house, and it was very big. But the best part was that, at the exit, a guy was selling the coolest CD cases. I bought three!"

In the meantime, I've been stuck listening to my boss whine about how terribly expensive and boring Europe is, and how our designer, who is the boss' niece, had to return half her wedding gifts because they were just so awful.

In the meantime, I don't have any underwear that's not falling apart and my shoes have holes through the soles. I feel excited every time I'm able to take a shower with hot water. I consider it a luxury when I can have something other than eggs for lunch.

And when I ditch my pessimism and boost up my confidence to apply for a position that couldn't be more adequate for me, I am discarded because of a few silly spelling mistakes.

They wouldn't even interview me. That's what gets me the most. Some paranoid part of me keeps thinking that some guy read my essay, noticed the mistakes, and then took a look at me sitting at the waiting room, said "argh, she doesn't even have tits worth to speak of" and tossed my application to the wastebasket.

It must have been that way, because I can't see any other reason why Tony should have such a good job and I was left here in my shithole because of a few mistakes.

I'm bitter-bitter-bitter. I know it's useless, I know it's stupid, but I also know I can't help it.

And I'm just so embarassed by the whole thing.