These have been strange days indeed.

I'm tottering all the time between happiness, peace of mind, sadness, and tenderness.

Happiness that it's finally out, peace of mind because I finally did it, sadness because I'm saying goodbye, and tenderness because Bel is such a great guy.

All week we've talked, talked, talked. We talk in the mornings, in the afternoons, and at nights.

Clearing everything up. Bringing back every confusing memory, and clearing it up.

We loved each other a lot, that's for sure.

Irony: I think we've talked more this week, we've caressed each other more this week, than all the last year put together. Now that it shouldn't matter anymore....

But somehow it does, it does to me. I loved this man so much.

It's helping me a lot, all this. I'm weary that things might get ugly again soon, but in the meantime, I feel better than I have in months.

We decided we'd both stay here, because it's still home for both of us. He's staying in the living room, though. So far, the harmony has been so perfect, the girls haven't even noticed we're not sleeping together anymore.

He says it's helping him too... although I know that maybe, the best thing would be to cut it cleanly... but if he's OK, I'm OK.

Saying farewell, I loved you, and thank you. Thank you so much for loving me.