I think I'll have to go back. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but sooner or later, I'll have to go back. October at the latest.

And even though the idea has its attractions (oh god how I miss my city), I don't think I'll avoid feeling like a complete, utter loser when the time comes.

It might end up being sooner than I think, if Tim doesn't get a job soon.

When I remember to think about it, I don't like myself much these days. Mostly I try NOT to think about it. If life took me on a detour, I guess it will turn out to have some meaning. Deep inside. I hope.

With mixed feelings, I sign off...