And now, I'll talk about something reasonable! YAY!

Sometimes black things follow me.

For the skepticals of this world, I want to point out that I am by no means the only person who've seen them. In fact, many people see them. When I'm going through these periods, situations like this become common:

While visiting with a friend:
Her: EEEK! I just saw a fucking black thing crawl behind the sofa! What the bloody weeping hell?
Me: Oh yeah. Don't worry, they're coming with me.

Notice I said common, not frequent. It's not like they're swarming around me like grackles. When they're near, I see them often and I dismiss them most of the time; but I've seen them clearly a few times --or as clearly as they can be seen, I guess--, and that was enough to know that it's not your usual garden-variety peripheral vision brainfart, a mistake.


Many people, including family, friends, acquaintances and complete strangers, have seen them in my presence to be a mere collective suggestion. Besides, I'm not going around telling people that the Men In Black and all their fuzzy pets are after me.

I rarely talk about it because whenever this has happened, I'm usually more worried about whatever's going on that has me depressed than the black things themselves. When they leave, I rarely think about them anymore. Besides, I'm open to the possibility that there might be a very reasonable explanation for them, too. It could be that it's me who's manifesting these things, little bits of darkness escaped from my troubled spirit that are becoming visible for everyone to see.

However, that all sounds much more complicated than the simpler explanation other people have given me for this li'l trait of mine: that they're astral bugs, simple beings that for some reason are attracted to me like moths are to a bright light.

I hadn't made the connection between the black things and my bad times until now, when I started seeing them again about a week ago. Even then I told myself I've been exhausted, stressed, and abusing myself for a long time, so it probably was nothing but vision quirks. Yesterday, though, I saw the cat chase after one of them; and since then, my doubts are pretty much gone. I still allow to the possibility that I could be hallucinating, because all cats seem to pounce at nothing occassionally and that doesn't prove anything, right? It could well be. Fucking cats, so ambiguous. You can't count on them to prove you sane.

Tangent:

Except for the case of the Horrible Haunted Apartment: when the demonic episodes of horror went by, we had no questions about our sanity; the things in that apartment not only had us humans crouching in the corner with every hair standing on end, but the cat was also usually perched on one of our heads, spitting and hissing bloody murder.

From that I learned that when three people and one cat unanimously agree Nyarlathotep is getting ready to open Its ancient yellow eye at any old time, it's time to bolt out the door, spreading salt as you go. There's no need to find a rational explanation.

End of Tangent.

Anyway, I don't overly worry about them, unsettling as it might be to realize that the black thing who just touched you and then scuttered down the hall and disappeared was definitely [i]not[/i] your dog. They frighten me in the measure that I don't know what they are, or why they follow me, or if they're actually only in my head, despite what other people say. Maybe they're just trying to get me to go insane.

But at least I do realize that whatever they are, it's me who's drawing them with my misery and not the other way around. It also worries me that although I think they're relatively harmless, it's been hinted to me that if these things are drawn to me it's because I'm somehow more 'visible' than other people, and if these simple beings can see me, other things could, too.

Which I think has already happened too, but I lucked out and the thing that noticed me actually chose to guard me for awhile instead of slowly eating my immortal soul, and I'm thankful for that.

If you're curious about it, a guy in blue followed me for awhile. I saw him a couple times, once sitting on my bed, but usually it was other people who saw him. They'd ask me who was that nice guy they'd seen with me on so-and-so, at times when I'd been walking on the street by myself. Furthermore, I didn't even know a guy like they described; tall, young, nice-looking, dressed in blue. Some people said they'd seen him walking with his arm around my shoulders.

Once I was sitting at the counter in a coffeeshop, playing cards with the owner. The place was deserted and we were friends, so we were just passing the time. A car parked in front and the driver, a regular of the coffeeshop too, waved at us, got out of his car, and stepped in. I was sitting on one of the only two stools at the counter, but the one beside me was empty. He didn't take it, though; he sat at one of the tables and we started talking. He was at an awkward distance there sitting at the table, so I asked him if he wanted to sit on the stool.

Him: I'd love to, but isn't your friend coming back? I got the impression he'd be back soon.
Me: Friend? I'm here alone... except for him --I pointed at Owner.
Him: I know, but I'm talking about the guy who left when I got here.
Me and Owner: What guy?
Him (probably thinking we're fucking with him): The guy who was sitting on the other stool. I thought he was your boyfriend,
Me: There was no one in here with me. When you parked, it was only Owner and me. When you got in, the same. It's been only Owner and me in here for the last hour.
Him: But there was a guy in the stool next to you. He waved too!

Holy Jesus the Jew, my ghosts fucking wave at people. To make the rest of the conversation short, he saw a guy with a blue jacket or blazer sitting next to me. When the newcomer stepped in the shop, the Blue Guy got up, put his hands on my shoulders, and walked out. He thought he'd say something to me and then left for the store or something, to be right back: that's why he hadn't taken the stool. He said he looked to be younger than thirty, tall, dark hair, blue jacket. Nice.

Weird shit, huh? The two characteristics that kept popping up in the descriptions were always Blue and Nice.

Anyway, then.

If anyone has any ideas, you could leave me a comment. If you think I'm crazy... well, I guess I could be, so I won't be offended. But I don't think I am.