well, life hasn't been shitty for a few days now.

for one, I've had a lot of work. I haven't seen a cent of all that money yet, but the more I wait, the more it'll be in the end. also it'll end up being deceptively little, given how much I owe to that double-cursed credit card. they upped my credit, the cretins. the temptation is horrid.

M and I have been talking about getting an apartment together again. I doubted it but for a second; yes, she's neurotic, yes she's a slob, yes she's whatever, but it's not here with my parents. I'll just shrug and say have to say c'est la vie and try to choose the place carefully so as to not go completely insane. I'll even fucking smile when having to clear the shower drain. use the wisdom so hardly earned. learn a little gratitude.

that, if the work keeps up. I'm hoping like hell it will; I need things to pick up, damnit, right now.

the Boy (a.k.a. Tim) is going to the beach for a month to try and finally figure it all out. I've tried to be honest with him, but sometimes I wonder if he listens.

when he's gone, he'll be gone for good. maybe he doesn't know yet, but he'll know for sure the day he leaves. I'll just sit him down and tell him that when --if-- he comes back, we're through. we can be friends if we can, and I do love him dearly, but I'm done. No more.

and I'll add a new rule to my Book O'Men: Never date anyone for more than a year if you don't feel it's leading somewhere. You grow too fond of them and what's the use?

ouch, did that sound cynical? I'm just trying to keep a balance here, people.

I'm completely obsessed with Iraqi blogs now thanks to Jess... apart from riverbend, who I linked already, check out this one and this one, if you're interested.

Have to ditch... people are here.