again I'm sitting on the curb, wondering why hell, how fuck did I get here, what the deuce am I doing here, I finally found another internet coffee that everyone assured me was impossibly far away, but turned out to be at the end of a twelve minute walk, orange juice stop included, no kidding, townies are such fucking distance snobs...

(parenthesis: this town hates me; everytime the sun comes out from behind the clouds I remove my sweater; it immediatly clouds over and back on goes the garment; there just isn't any way I can keep my style.)

I managed some hours of work, which makes me harbor perverse thoughts. should I stay over? I've worked, so why not stay the night with him instead of going back home?