lily please stay

my life used to be awful, every night I'd lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling and grinding my teeth with horror of who knows what, my eyes open for nights without end of indifferent silence, and suddenly there was you curling up by my side and keeping horror and indifference away with the loud no nonsense of your purr. you'd rumble on for longer than I could stay awake, or even you, since you went on purring in your sleep.

for almost three years, whenever I wake up sad and wanting to cry, you've been there to cuddle me, many times I've cried to you, and every time I came back home feeling shit you've been there to touch me and give me comforting little noises. when I'm sick or just sad you sit behind my head and you never move from my side.

I learned that we were meant for one another in a dream, I went and fetched you home and since then I've felt that I can handle anything, bad days, funerals, broken hearts, fights, loneliness, hesitance, indifference, oblivion & fear, if I have you, a tiny little thing to have, silky soft tiger lily with her clown face and her white spot on the tip of her tail.

yesterday I dreamed you were hiding inside a rubber boot. I picked up the boot and brought you home, and I could see your pretty freckled nose poking out. and hear your purr.

please come home, lily. don't leave me, I don't think I can make it without you.