first of all, I hereby thank all the gods that be, sgt pepper for his 40th anniversary miracle, and father avila who can't have hurt, when guiding me to my estranged cat last friday.

every bruise, every single scratch, every curse we earned from a sleep loving neighbor, every shock from the electric fence of her heightly imprisonment, felt like bliss with honey and pancakes as I walked back with my flipped out kitty press-packed inside a tiny pink Barbiepack borrowed from the owners of the house where we found her, who were very eager to get rid of my loudly meowing midnight presence.

your Majesty says thankee, too.

and now that my spiritual leader is back and we can go back to dealing with Real World, something I just couldn't do or manage last week, I realize that without my noticing, my life has gone quite bonkers again. I realized today that my life has turned to shit, when I found myself looking forward to going to work and get distracted with all that.

when you're a xenophobical turd and your work is your sanctuary, it's not nice when it is invaded by hordes of people, especially when your gentle and usually calm oasis of butterflies and teacups becomes the shelter for EVERYONE else as well, including two self important film crews, a press conference for the V--- F-- girls, who are as unheard of as utterly plain and a huge pain in the ass with a miniskirt, along with every single ever watching eye to be there and make smartass comments --or notes plus the odd drop in and stray.

I took too many aspirins today.

I hate being like this --I know there are many things that require my attention RIGHT NOW, but I can't concentrate. because seemingly without my vitamins I turn into a spineless something that feels crowded and won't function anymore --let alone work all day, finish the books at the shop, and prepare for a presentation next week... not to mention keep up with gym, plants, and starving brothers, but I have to get intense don't I. and want to do nothing but to slowly decay.