sometimes I can see it happening, so clearly. almost feel it happening.

I'm walking on the street, on my way to work or maybe to the store, and suddenly a car turns around the corner too fast and runs me over when crossing, or a ram charger drives up the curb and crushes me against a wall. there I lay (or stand) all squished, insides destroyed, my foot or maybe even half a leg left behind me on the curb, my face scraped up and my fingers blistered from the engine's heat, feeling the grit and dirt and blood on my broken teeth,

and I always think, the last thought that'll cross my mind will probably be, 'well, that sure was a whole lot ado about nothing'.

and on a much lighter note, I 've realized today that for some reason, my exes constitute a great part of my friendships. I wonder what that means, that today all the conversations that went beyond the hi, how are you, happened with some incarnation of former foolish love.

I don't know the reason, but I guess I'm grateful. without them to chat with, I'd feel pretty lonely when I'm here lurking in my hole.