I keep thinking, I should write more and then I just don't. I guess I'm probably not the first wannabe who just collapses under the amount of time it takes to actually write things down, as opposed to just having an ongoing dictation in my head. my problem is that I am uncapable of short and sweet, which means that I get run over by my complex compound ideas, and I try to mash them over with badly overinflated runon sentences... which takes up a lot of time.

I've been feeling good these days, the lens shifted once again and I'm not seeing everything askew (or: shit) anymore, or at least not all the time. I've been trying to extend my social web, but so far it's mostly been an exercise of my imagination, that is, in my head I make plans and pretend I'm doing stuff, like going to see a friend's dance festival, or going to a party with friends, but when the time comes, I always end up saying something like 'meh. I think I'd rather stay home and work on some comparative history' (i.e., watch season 1 of Rome and ponder on just how tall and rough Titus is.)

this weekend though, it looks like interesting things might happen outside the scope of my hollow head; M and I might go out of town on sat for another edition of Boy's birthday.

last time I was there, donkey's years ago, we had a huge psychodelic brawl, I got thrown into the pool and one of my favorite watches was ruined, we danced on the counters, and did naughty stuff in tents, had a grand old time, surely; early next day, drama unfurled like a new rose; while everyone screamed and flapped their arms in efforts for conciliation, I took Jack Kerouac's On The Road from a shelf, sat on the shade with some beer and gatorade (to prevent from crumbling into a pile of hungover dust) and read about half before the drama was fully wrung out, explored, discussed, analyzed, and forecasted. oh and we found out we weren't too nauseous for lunch anymore.

that wasn't too bad, except for the drama part that still gallops into these days, as dramas are known to do. who knows, with a bit of luck maybe I'll finish reading On The Road at last this weekend.