retrospect, bilingual (drafted but unpublished)

somos iguales tú y yo
no cabemos en el mismo verso
somos iguales tú y yo
nos queremos pero no sabemos
somos iguales tú y yo
nos tocamos pero no nos vemos
somos iguales tú y yo
nos extrañamos y aquí estamos...


just so you know, I know what you're up to.

we're both so much alike, just a pair of motherfuckers. we both mean well, but we're lame and we keep fucking up, and now it's your turn and you're fucking up. you've fucked up. these last days I've felt something I had almost forgotten about, one of those things that helped me make up my mind years ago, when I finally decided you were probably not a very good idea; that feeling that formed a part of the horrible, downright truth I felt, over and over again, when my friend turned and said, well, what did you expect? he was cheating on his girlfriend, why would he be any better to you? just cause he says?

that feeling I had every time I saw that self-sufficient little smile on ABH face when she left your classroom, her nasty looks at me, that little twist on eyes and the hug she gave you when she said goodbye, that made me sure, certain, that you'd been hitting on her... maybe even sexying her up... I was even more sure when I saw her deliberately rub you with her ass more than once when bending over and looking at assignments on the table. but mostly it was that knowing, hateful, insolent look on her face when she walked by my side. like she knew something I didn't. which I guess was true.

god it made me mad. and you know, she wasn't the only one.

cause yes I was sure you'd been telling her stuff. being charming to her, as you usually are. you pretend otherwise, but you know you're adorable, that we can't help but loving you, so tall and handsome, you and your big sad eyes, and you use that. I bet you tell them all about how horrible your women are to you, maybe you combine all of our stories, maybe you're telling some of the bad times between you and me as part of only one tale, let's keep it to the essentials.
who cares about your girl and your friend, who only supported you and vouched to you and stood by you and fucking went head over heels crazy for you for six months? who the hell cares?

you know, I don't even care about her either, I'll be fine, I know that in time I'll forget about loving you, and about what I feel right now, all broken and bruised and bleeding inside again, because you've been a dick to me, you lied to me, you used me, so soon I will never love you again. you're not worth it.