speaking of dreams, this morning I definitely had my third best dream ever:

I'm sitting at a table on a long hotel porch, looking at the ocean, there's a stage behind me, and the cure is playing. they start with 'just like heaven', it sounds so good I start singing with them while I'm staring the sea, and suddenly I realize that robert smith is sitting by my side and singing in my ear, and looking into my eyes, we're singing together about angels dancing in the deepest oceans, twisting underwater, and I just wriggled all over, giggled like a schoolgirl, probably fainted, and then woke up with a big fucking smile on my face.

dream #2 and #1 are me in bed with stabler from Criminal Intent and horatio from CSI Miami, and george clooney feeding me potato chips in bed, respectively.

ps. and all this makes me wonder if maybe this morning robert smith woke up and told someone over coffee, O Lo, I had the strangest dream about some freckley bird last night...

diez veloces (y aún perplejos) meses más tarde, ésta va para mis padres. papá, sueño contigo en algún punto casi todas las noches, luego despierto y siento siempre la misma estúpida sorpresa...

si tú no vuelves
se secarán todos los mares
y esperaré sin ti
tapiado al fondo de algún recuerdo

si tú no vuelves
mi voluntad se hará pequeña
me quedaré aquí
junto a mi perro gato espiando horizontes

si tú no vuelves
no quedarán más que desiertos
y escucharé por si
algún latido le queda a esta tierra

que era tan serena
cuando me querías
habia un perfume fresco que yo respiraba
era tan bonita, era así de grande
no tenía fin

y cada noche vendrá una estrella
a hacerme compañía
que te cuente cómo estoy
y sepas lo que hay
dime amor, amor, amor
estoy aqui ¿no ves?
si no vuelves no habrá vida
no sé lo que haré

si tú no vuelves
no habrá esperanza ni habrá nada
caminaré sin tí
con mi tristeza bebiendo lluvia

femina, insana

-- the other day I dreamed that my mother, brother, and I were waiting at a table for you and your lot, a family reunion, as it were, you showed up all happiness and smiles, oh la dee la, except you were with your wife, and carried a baby in your arms. 'I had a child, did you hear?' you said with that big smile, and I answered yes, I heard, except I heard you had a boy, and that you're holding is clearly a girl, all curls and bows and little dress. either way, I walked away from the table even though everyone called me back, since I clearly had nothing to do there.
the really whacko part is that throughout all this, we both had the same hairdo, and as usual it probably looked better on you.

** what drives me bugshit about you is that you really buy all that crap you tell me. in your heart of hearts, you really believe this is a tragic story about a true heart and an untrue bitch, instead of the incredibly tiresome story of the guy who won't commit and panicks into believing anything. even that he's still in love with his ex, who's a bitch everytime she points out they didn't really have a very good relationship at all.

## about you, sometimes I really wish things could be different, that I could love you so we could set out to find a rock to comfortably decompose on, grow lots of plants, build lots of crap, and possibly have maybe blonde, definetely insane, if not very tall children. but you can't command the heart they say, and the fact is that I don't love you and I never did. I tried enough to know for sure.

::: you're cruel to me and... I sort of like it. then hate myself for it.

we were in bed, naked, our arms around each other, we were laughing, you kissed my neck, I held you tight, kissed your shoulder, felt your smell, said 'I've missed you so much', and started crying
you said, 'but why do you cry?'
'because I think I'm dreaming, and you're not really here'.
and presto, I woke up alone, crying, and cold.

remote

¿por qué siempre sueño las mismas cosas? a veces los sueños son
mejores o menos torturados que otros, pero vuelve lo mismo de siempre,
los mismos motivos: el mar, siempre el mar que no puedo alcanzar; un
barco, un avión, un transporte que debo encontrar; un equipaje que
debo hacer.

y es una tontería eso de que uno sueña en blanco y negro.

agua infinita e inalcanzable, el hombre al que beso... pero en mis
sueños, él me responde.

top 3 del soñoliento:
1. still wake up in the mornings -- goma
2. you've got to hide your love away -- the beatles
3. the way we were -- gladys knight and the pips

voy de salida para entregar un recibo. viajaré pues al centro de la
tierra y volveré...