we'll meet again/lost rhapsody

before I even knew it, last week I spent what felt like three quarters of my weekly pay in sugar skulls and candy coffins for the offering. my favorite is still the skeleton sitting on a tomb with curlers in her head, a huge bowl of guacamole in her arms and a sign that reads "I loved and am loved". then I realized that 1) I had already bought an insane amount of marigolds, that would never last for the week remaining till the day first; and 2) in my dazzle of decoration I ran out of money for food, which is supposed to be the true spirit of the thing, as opposed to the frilly skeleton candy.

us mexicans are very serious about our food. you can believe it.

in that I'm different, because for me, the less I eat the better. I don't have money for food, but I'm honestly more disturbed about my lack of food for my dead relatives.

who were good mexicans who took their meals to heart. I still can see all my grandma's brothers and sisters sitting in a row, chewing in unison and hushing up as soon as the food came because talking wastes time.

anyway, I thought I could still treat these old people with some goodies they won't find in my more sober relative's offerings: a good bottle of malt whisky; a bottle of foamy rose wine for the ladies; half a dozen cigarettes; a doobie or two; twizzlers; a book by Bukowski; some milk and a cup of tea.

pictures shall be coming shortly.

afternote: fans of LOST, this might tickle your funnybone. it's work friendly but you'll need to turn up the sound.

sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell

and thus we have changed.

Halloween 2005

This year has been so hard, but I've learned so much.

I've learned that everything goes and everything stays, contradictory but true; and in consequence, learning patience is something to strive for; and that includes being patient with myself as well as with others.
In the same spirit, it's useless to rush something through or live with your mind in the after; life is about the in-betweens, about those endless shades of grey. like it or not, whatever your drama strain is, there are no true blacks and whites. you gotta learn to love the grey.
I've learned there's a time for everything, except for regret.

I really don't know what to wish for this october. i'd like to be brave again. stop feeling like my life's mostly over for now.

yeah, I'm happier than I've been, but still i'm sad. does that even make sense?

I am appreciative of my life and I'm grateful. I really don't want anything beyond what I have now, except (as always) for more money, please and thankya.

goodbye and welcome, thanks for everything again.

sha la la la la la TONIGHT

tonight
TONIGHT!

make your wishes!! dance on the roof!